What? Huh, oil!? Who says something about oil, bitch, you cookin?

There were a few news stories this season that ESPN shoved down your throat every single week. Photographic evidence surfaced to prove brett favre has an LBP... not exactly breaking news,we already knew that. Rex Ryan's weird, yet entertaining foot fetish was made public. We were constantly reminded that Ben R R'd a college kid and got away with it unscathed, minus a 4 game suspension. But what do all of these stories have in common? They were wrongfully labeled "distractions in the locker room."

Who exactly is being distracted by these stories? I'm pretty sure brett favre isn't in the locker room asking Joe Webb "are you bigger than me? Come on, just show me." I don't believe R'n Ben R is in the huddle telling Flozell how to beat a charge before it's even filed. And I'm fairly confident that Rex Ryan doesn't practice his police officer impersonation on Jim Leonard to keep his wife convinced.

You know why? Because members of the media are the only ones who bring this garbage up. The only time players talk about this stuff is when they're (excessively) asked "how big of a distraction is this?" Are you people asking these questions stupid? You are the only one who cares. You are the only one who can't stop talking about it. The only reason the fans talk about it is because ESPN, Fox, and NBC blast it in your eyes before you even ask to see it.

It doesn't eat into practice time, taking away valuable reps. It doesn't get discussed on the sidelines, keeping players from focusing on the game. It is only talked about during press conferences when you want to prove you know nothing about the sport you're covering, so you ask these TMZ questions to fill the time. Stop calling these events distractions when you're the only ones dwelling on the subject.

I'ma Throw This Money While You Do It With No Hands

It needs to stop.

The idea that Greg Olsen ever was or ever will be an elite TE in the NFL needs to get shot down permanently. Everyone seemed to have fallen in love with Olsen as soon as he slipped to the Bears in the 2007 draft. He showed great speed for a man his size at the combine running a 4.51 in the 40 in a controlled indoor environment.

But how many times in his 4 year career have you been astonished by Olsen’s speed on the field? I can remember one play against the Cowboys in 2010 where he showed enough burst to break a long TD. Any other plays come to mind? I got nothing. That’s because Olsen has gotten bigger and stronger since the combine, which also contributes to his decline in speed.

How many times have you been amazed by a difficult catch Olsen has made? I will admit that this has definitely happened more times than my being impressed with his speed. The ability to make difficult catches, though, doesn’t necessarily make up for the dropping of easy ones. Olsen reminds me a lot of Braylon Edwards and Roy E Williams in that regard. While each one of them has shown flashes of playmaking at times, more often than not you are disappointed at their lack of consistency and production. Olsen has shown he’s capable of making big plays and having great games, but he doesn’t do it on any kind of regular basis and he drops balls that are just inexcusable.

It’s true; Mike Martz didn’t do Olsen any favors by mostly ignoring him this season. And Olsen showed a lot of improvement when it comes to blocking. But Mike Martz will be the Bears offensive coordinator in 2011, and while I expect him to look Olsen’s way more than he did in 2010, I don’t see him having some profound change of philosophy where Olsen becomes Cutler’s number 1 option again. Olsen has the potential to be a good-to-very-good TE in the league, but I don’t see him ever being considered elite.

Olsen is still in my five favorite players on the Bears. He’s a good interview and he supports good causes around Chicago (plus he’s a supremely talented lyricist). I just can’t defend his “tremendous upside” anymore. Whenever you hear someone talking about the strengths of Olsen’s game, it’s always the same thing… He has blazing speed and great hands. In his 4 seasons in the NFL, he’s proved that he doesn’t possess either of these attributes. It doesn’t mean the Bears need to trade him, cut him, or give up on him in any way. It simply means that we need to stop referencing his draft hype when we talk about his skill set today.

Let’s stop that noise already.

I'm From Canada So They Think I'm Slow, Eh?

2010 Grey Cup



10 Catches, 149 yds vs Calgary



2010 Most Outstanding Canadian



Fantuz Flakes Commercial