Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
As good as the Bears have been this year, there are a few things that could make them even better. Even though these cats are very rich, there are some things money can't buy. If you could find it in your heart to deliver the following gifts, the entire city of Chicago will be forever grateful.

Chris Harris - A geometry book, so he can learn all about the wrong angles he likes to take to the ball carrier

Chester Taylor - Someone in front of him willing to open up a running lane

Devin Aromashodu - A chance to be on the field during a passing play

Pisa Tinoisamoa - HGH to improve his chances of functioning for an entire season

Peanut Tillman - The desire to actually cover a receiver

Greg Olsen - A one-album record deal for his 7th Floor Crew

Dez Clark - The chance to wear his Bears uniform again before they release him this off-season

Tommie Harris - A time machine dialed up to 2005

Lovie Smith - A high five for living the "Winter of Lovie." He finally learned to do the exact opposite of every thought that crosses his mind

Johnny Knox - A sex change so her vagina will stop interfering with her ability to catch the ball in traffic 

Rasheid Davis - A roster spot in a city not named Chicago

Santa, I know it's wrong to expect everything you ask for, but if you could only take care of a couple of these gifts, please please please please take care of Chris Harris and Rasheid Davis... they need it the most.


Devin The Dude